SUMMARY: Michael throws a surprise 10th anniversary party for Melanie and Lindsay, but the evening doesn't quite turn out as planned. Justin's stay in Hollywood is extended, in turn affecting his relationship with Brian. At Ted's suggestion, Brian invests his Kinnetik profits in a new venture.
FADE IN: RAGE STORYBOARDS
Close-ups of storyboards flashing by in Pride colors. Select scenes: Swineheart plotting; Rage being overpowered by clones; Rage bound, hanging upside down amid fire with the art direction of "push in"; a religious cross with "cut to medium shot of Swineheart camera tracks around him"; the town as clones, attacking Rage and Zephyr. Cut to the Rage logo cover page: Rage Storyboards.
ART DIRECTION: Panel 1 "Rage" Scene 1. Fade in. Rage Logo - a tear rips across, revealing Gayopolis below.
COMIC BOOK NARRATOR [VO]
In a world of shadow, where the undead stalk the night...
STORYBOARD: Arial view of a street with two cars and an alley filled with people.
ART DIRECTION: Scene 1 Page 3 X-DISS. To alley as Rage and Zephyr fight against clones. Camera reveals sea of clones.
STORYBOARD: Rage and Zephyr fighting clones. Rage holds one clone in a left-arm headlock, in mid-punch with his right. Zephyr in mid-punch of a clone.
COMIC BOOK NARRATOR [VO]
Rage and Zephyr struggle to escape the Land of the Clones.
STORYBOARD: Sea of clones, arms extended to attack.
ART DIRECTION: Cut. Close on Rage and Zephyr in battle.
STORYBOARD: Rage and Zephyr being overpowered by the sea of clones.
ART DIRECTION: Push in
STORYBOARD: Rage, fists raised, with a clone on his back.
STORYBOARD: Zephyr, right arm raised, held by two clones.
STORYBOARD: Their struggle, clones closing in.
DISSOLVE TO: INT. BABYLON - NIGHT
The clones become the dancers. The dramatic comic book soundtrack melts into Babylon's techno thumpa-thumpa. We move through the crowd to find Brian and Michael dancing. While Brian rides a high, Michael has his hands on Brian's shoulders.
MICHAEL
You know what amazes me?
BRIAN
What, dear?
Drug vial in hand, he prepares a hit. They keep dancing.
MICHAEL
Outside, a child is born, a man dies, a couple gets married.
BRIAN
The ever-changing kaleidoscope of life.
He takes a bump. Michael grins.
MICHAEL
In here...
SCENE FREEZES: Dancers in mid-move, confetti in mid-drop, music gone, color bled to blue tones. Michael and Brian are unaffected. What remains is an echo-sound to their voices, as if in an empty warehouse. Michael moves through the crowd, Brian following.
MICHAEL
...nothing changes. Everything's the same. Same hot guys. Same thumpa-thumpa. Same shaved chest.
BRIAN
Hmn. Mmmm.
Grinning, he trails a finger down a nearby bare chest.
BRIAN
And what a comfort it is to know.
MICHAEL
But it's all a lie. An illusion.
He swipes a hand across some confetti. It falls at his touch, tinkling like glass.
MICHAEL
Just cheap theatrics.
Brian swoops in for Michael's arm, dragging him back to their dancing spot.
BRIAN
Nevertheless, let's - keep - dancing.
SCENE UNFREEZES: At the word 'dancing,' everything picks up exactly as before. Brian and Michael dance. Shots of the crowd, the go-go boys, back to Brian and Michael.
MICHAEL
I promised Ben I'd be home by midnight.
BRIAN
[to the ceiling] How pathetic!
Michael heads off the dance floor. Brian follows, arm across Michael's shoulders.
BRIAN
Well, be sure and thank your husband for me for allowing you to come out and play with your poor, lonely friend.
MICHAEL
I notice you left out 'old.' Well, you'll be a lot less lonely when you're reunited with your beloved.
Brian stops walking.
BRIAN
And you better not say anything.
Michael turns, Brian's hand gripping his right shoulder.
MICHAEL
When have I ever--
Brian stares at him. Beat. Michael concedes with a nod.
MICHAEL
Fine. Never mind. I give you my word.
Brian, hands on hips.
BRIAN
Swear to it.
Points at him.
BRIAN
On the memory of Marilyn Monroe.
Michael laughs.
MICHAEL
I swear on the memory of Marilyn Monroe that I will not tell Justin that you are flying to L.A. this weekend to surprise him and that you love him and that you miss him more than words can express.
Brian has rolled his eyes and glanced away and back.
BRIAN
Ohhhh! Who said anything about that?
MICHAEL
Look, you don't fool me, Mr. I am a rock, I am an island. I know how hard this has been for you.
Brian holds Michael's neck.
BRIAN
Mmm. You have no idea, Mikey, how hard.
Brian kisses him before a brief lean-hug and walking away.
INT. BACKROOM
Two guys fucking. Brian, up against the wall getting sucked, watches then recognizes the fuckee. He grins.
BRIAN
Hey, Todd. How's it going?
TODD
Fine.
Brian smirks. His cell phone rings and he pulls it out to look.
BACKROOM GUY [OS]
Hey, dickhead! Turn off your fucking cell phone!
Brian does a scowl-chin-lift in his direction as he flips open the phone.
BRIAN
What's up?
CUT TO: EXT. CALIFORNIA - DAY
Justin, towel around his waist, stands poolside at an all-male party. The men are in shorts/Speedos or nude.
JUSTIN
Just lying here...
SPLIT SCREEN SHOT:
Justin on the phone, nude men walking around.
Group of mostly nude men dancing.
Group of mostly nude men talking, getting sucked.
JUSTIN
...eating a bag of Doritos, reading The Brothers Karamazov. What about you?
CUT TO: INT. BABYLON - NIGHT
SPLIT SCREEN SHOT:
Brian at Babylon, getting sucked.
Guys having sex, sex, sex.
Guys having sex, sex, sex.
BRIAN
Anna Karenina and Pringles.
Sound of Justin's laughter.
JUSTIN
[on the phone] I always said...
SPLIT SCREEN SHOT:
Justin at the pool party, walking to sit on a couch.
California dancing, smoking, hand shaking, drinking.
Brian at Babylon, getting sucked.
Babylon sex, sex, sex.
JUSTIN
...it was our love of Russian literature and snacks high in saturated fat that brought us together.
Brian laughs.
BRIAN
So, how's work?
JUSTIN
Up to my ass in storyboards. But Brett is thrilled.
SPLIT SCREEN SHOT:
Close-up of Justin on the phone.
Close-up of Brian on the phone.
JUSTIN
He says he never could have envisioned the project without me. He's even talking about a sequel.
BRIAN
My superhero.
JUSTIN
Only trouble is, pre-production is slower than we expected so I might have to stay longer than I thought.
Brian frowns as his shot widens to full screen.
INT. BABYLON
BRIAN
How much longer?
EXT. CALIFORNIA
JUSTIN
Another three months. Maybe four.
INT. BABYLON
Brian leans his head back against the wall, disappointed. He nods a little.
JUSTIN
[on the phone] The studio is screaming, but Brett says not to worry, that happens all the time.
EXT. CALIFORNIA
JUSTIN
You're not pissed, are you?
INT. BABYLON
BRIAN
Why the fuck would I be pissed? Told you before you went out there, the only reason I'd be pissed is if you didn't go.
JUSTIN
[on the phone] So when are you coming out here?
EXT. CALIFORNIA
Justin looks over to the guys fucking on the couch next to his, laughing.
JUSTIN
You'd fucking love it.
INT. BABYLON
BRIAN
You never know when I just might drop in.
EXT. CALIFORNIA
JUSTIN
Well, you better hurry. The way things are going, I'll be doing Son of Rage.
INT. BABYLON
Brian smiles, looks down.
EXT. CALIFORNIA
JUSTIN
I miss you.
INT. BABYLON
Brian clears his throat, presses his head against the wall.
BRIAN
Hey, you take care of yourself, you hear? You do the best work you can. And have the best time you can. That's all that matters.
Beat. He hangs up.
EXT. CALIFORNIA
Justin looks at his phone, ends the call and folds it. Across in the near distance, a hottie is giving him the eye.
INT. BABYLON
Brian moaning, getting sucked.
EXT. CALIFORNIA
Long shot of Justin on the couch, Hottie's back in the forefront as he sits on the pool's edge.
INT. BABYLON
Brian moaning, getting sucked.
EXT. CALIFORNIA
Justin gets up.
INT. BABYLON
Brian. More moaning. More sucking.
EXT. CALIFORNIA
Justin and Hottie walk to each other.
INT. BABYLON
Brian coming.
CUT TO: INT. LINDSAY AND MELANIE'S HOUSE - DAY
Close up of a baby girl, JENNY REBECCA, happy and gurgling on her back.
BEN [OS]
She has your big button eyes. And your dimples.
We pull back to see Melanie, Gus, Lindsay, Michael and Ben leaning over a crib. Everyone is happy.
BEN
And your adorable nose.
MICHAEL
Well, she's got one thing of Mel's that I don't have.
LINDSAY
She's so young, it's hard to tell exactly who she looks like.
MELANIE
At this point, she's just a sleep, eat, and poop machine.
MICHAEL
Yeah, but she's our little sleep, eat, and poop machine.
He pulls her blanket up to her chest.
MICHAEL
Sweet dreams, honey bun.
INT. HALLWAY
Ben and Michael lead the way out of the baby's room and down the stairs. Melanie and Lindsay -- holding Gus's hand -- follow.
BEN
Honey bun?
MICHAEL
It's just what my mother used to call me. [to Mel/Linds] Which reminds me, she said to tell you that she's coming by tomorrow to see the baby.
Lindsay looks back at Melanie, both solemn.
MELANIE
Oh. Would you have her call first?
MICHAEL
She's not pestering you, is she? Cos if she is, just tell me. I hate when she pesters.
They gather at the foot of the stairs. Lindsay swings Gus down to stand in front of her, having carried him.
MICHAEL
Are you sure you guys don't need any groceries? Got enough diapers? What about talcum powder?
Ben and Lindsay laugh.
LINDSAY
We're all set.
MELANIE
We've got everything under control.
BEN
Of course they do. After all these years, they're like a fine-tuned machine. I can't wait to be an old married couple.
LINDSAY
Ohh, don't rush it. It's nice to be newlyweds too.
BEN
How many years has it been?
MELANIE
Two hundred.
LINDSAY
Ten. This week actually.
MICHAEL
Ten's a biggie. You plan anything special?
MELANIE
We're taking a pass this year.
LINDSAY
Too tired, too busy.
Ben moves in for hugs and kisses from them.
MICHAEL
Just remember, if there's anything you need...
He kisses Melanie; she laughs.
MELANIE
When your tits start lactating, [phone mime] call me.
They laugh. Ben opens the door, waving. Michael follows.
BEN
[to Gus] Bye!
LINDSAY/MELANIE
Bye!
Melanie shuts the door, Lindsay beside her. They lean against it. Smiles vanish, shoulders slump. Long beat.
MELANIE
You were good.
LINDSAY
So were you.
MELANIE
Practice makes perfect.
Lindsay gets Gus's jacket off the hook behind her, then picks him up. Melanie helps Gus put it on.
LINDSAY
But we're going to have to tell them eventually. They have to know I'm not living here.
MELANIE
Of course they need to know. And they will. Eventually.
Melanie opens the door for Lindsay to leave. Alone, she leans against the door, eyes closed.
CUT TO: EXT. DEB'S HOUSE - NIGHT
A car drives up to the curb.
DEB [VO]
I just want to grab some pantyhose and my lasagna pan.
Carl and Deb get out. Carl walks around to join her on the sidewalk.
CARL
I don't think I can help you with the pantyhose, but don't I have enough pans at my house?
DEB
What, that old collection of TV dinner tins?
Carl chuckles. They walk up to the house.
DEB
Speaking of collections, I gotta remember to bring my glass clowns.
Carl rounds on her, hand held up.
CARL
Wait! You just brought over all those owls, with all those ... eyes.
Deb chuckles.
CARL
With all this stuff you've been hauling over, we might as well be living here.
Beat.
DEB
Carl.
CARL
What?
DEB
Jeez. I don't know how to say this.
CARL
[shocked] You? Not know how to say something?
She chuckles. Beat.
DEB
It's about your place.
CARL
What's the matter with my place?
DEB
Nothing. No no, nothing's the matter with your place. [beat] It's just ... It's not this place.
CARL
We've had endless discussions about where we were gonna live. You, you said you didn't want to be here. There were too many sad memories.
DEB
It's true, and at the time, all I could think about was losing Vic. But since I've been gone, all the happy memories are starting to come back and they're even beating out the sad ones. [beat] I've lived in this house almost thirty years. That's practically all of Michael's life. There were days when we could barely muster up the mortgage and... and days when we partied all night long and that didn't even count birthdays and holidays.
They laugh fondly.
DEB
This house is a part of me. And I've never been away from it until now. There's nothing, nothing wrong with your place, sweetheart, I love being there with you. But I wanna come home.
CARL
Honey. It's like I said from the start. It's up to you. Wherever you are is home to me.
DEB
Really? Really?!
She kisses him and he chuckles, hugging her.
DEB
Thank you!
INT. DEB'S HOUSE
The door opens and Deb and Carl walk in to find Emmett getting fucked quite vocally on the couch by a trick.
EMMETT
Oh, yeah! Fuck me like you mean it, come on! Ahhhh!
Deb and Carl watch, shell-shocked. Emmett and Trick come and fall over on the couch. Behind them, porn is on the TV. A lamp breaks. Recovering, Emmett then Trick peek up over the couch back. Deb smiles at an open-mouthed Carl.
DEB
Welcome home.
CUT TO: INT. MICHAEL AND BEN'S BUILDING - NIGHT
Michael and Ben walk up the stairs. Michael's carrying a giant giraffe with a red bow on its head, Ben has two plastic bags.
BEN
Ya know, every time you see a stuffed animal, you don't have to buy it.
MICHAEL
I can't help it. I want my girl to have everything.
Ben laughs. Two twinks are making out in the hall, blocking their way.
BEN
Ex-cuse us.
They move aside, giving him a dirty look. Ben and Michael skirt around.
BEN
What are they giving me a look for? [to the departing guys] This isn't a fucking backroom!
MICHAEL
The party has been going on since last night.
The door next to Michael opens and two guys come out, leaving the door open. Michael pokes his head in. We see a guy smoking a joint.
BEN
[disapproving] Michael!
Michael pulls his head back out as Ben uses his keys to unlock their door.
MICHAEL
Just curious. Fags packed to the rafters. One of 'em looks just like--
Hunter strolls out of the party.
HUNTER
Hey, dudes, you're home.
Opens their door.
MICHAEL
Why aren't you?
INT. MICHAEL AND BEN'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Door swings open and they all walk in.
HUNTER
Jason and Troy asked me if we had the new Christina Aguilera CD. So I loaned 'em ours.
Ben closes the door. Michael drops the giraffe to the side.
MICHAEL
That'll be the last we see of that, thank you very much.
BEN
You don't belong over there with guys who've been partying all night.
HUNTER
I was just trying to be neighborly. And maybe cop a little weed.
Michael points further into the apartment.
MICHAEL
You should be studying for your midterms!
BEN
Crack those books, pal.
He goes to the kitchen. Mouth open, Hunter walks away.
INT. KITCHEN
Ben sets his keys then the bags on the counter. Behind him, Michael opens the fridge.
MICHAEL
Here, give me the ice cream. I'll put it in the freezer.
Ben hands him Haagen-Daz. He unloads the rest of the groceries.
MICHAEL
They seem kinda ... cranky to you?
BEN
Who?
MICHAEL
Mel and Linds.
BEN
No more than usual.
Hands Michael two cartons to put away: one regular milk, one Silk.
BEN
I mean, they're both probably exhausted.
MICHAEL
They must be, to not want to celebrate their tenth anniversary.
Closes the fridge.
BEN
Between breastfeeding and changing diapers, I'm sure planning a celebration is the last thought on their minds.
MICHAEL
Maybe we should think of it for them.
Ben's face softens and he holds Michael from behind, nuzzling his head.
BEN
I hope on our tenth anniversary we're not too tired to celebrate.
Grinning, Michael turns in his arms.
MICHAEL
I seriously doubt that would ever happen.
They kiss. It deepens as Hunter enters.
HUNTER
Hey. I thought when you got married you fucked less.
Ben opens his mouth. Hunter hunt and gathers the Captain Crunch from a grocery bag then leaves. Ben goes to say something, but Michael kisses him.
CUT TO: INT. KINNETIK ADVERTISING AGENCY - DAY
Brian's office. The conference table: Two coffee pitchers, plate of pastries, four white mugs on a matching tray, red napkins, white notepad with pen, small stack of glossy black folders. Brian stands at the table, looking at a plane ticket he's holding. He folds it back up and walks to his desk as Ted enters, stopping at the pastry plate. Beyond the door, the sounds of Kinnetik running smoothly.
TED
You counting down the hours, Bri?
He grabs a bear claw and tears off half to eat.
TED
I'd be too, you lucky bastard. Zooming off to Los Angeles for a little Sunshine.
Chuckle and a big bite. Brian, hands in pockets, strolls over.
TED
[mouth full] But, mmm, before you fly away, we need to go over some figures.
He wipes his mouth on a napkin, picking up a legal notepad and writes.
BRIAN
How many bear claws you've consumed this morning?
Frowning, he tosses Ted's untouched bear claw half back onto the plate.
TED
I'm writing down a number.
BRIAN
Oh, I get it, I'm supposed to guess what it is? Then what, we become the new Siegfried and Roy?
Grinning smugly, Ted turns the pad for Brian to see. Brian gives a questioning look.
TED
That's how much Kinnetik made last quarter.
Brian snatches the notepad and stares at it.
BRIAN
That's not too shabby.
TED
Not too shabby?! For being in business a year, it's over the fucking moon!
He leans over to lust after the bear claws again.
TED
So, what do you plan to do with it?
Brian slides the plate toward him.
BRIAN
Oh. It's all yours.
They laugh. Ted lightly smacks Brian's forearm.
TED
I meant the profits.
He picks up the folders and walks around the table, placing a folder at each seat.
TED
Of course, you could always pump it back into the business, but, ah, I'd caution you against expanding too quickly.
Brian gestures toward Ted's middle.
BRIAN
I might say the same thing to you.
TED
As far as stocks and bonds, eh. To get a good rate, you'd have to go out to the middle of the 24th century.
BRIAN
So what do you suggest?
Ted comes to stop in front of Brian.
TED
The best investment there is.
He smacks Brian's upper chest.
TED
Yourself.
Another smack.
TED
Spend it on you! You've worked like a son of a bitch, you went through hell and back with your, uh...
Waves his fingers at Brian's crotch, then quickly holds his hands up.
TED
But thank god, you're okay. So, treat yourself to something special. Go buy a new toy.
BRIAN
Got dildos up the ass.
Brian heads back to this desk. Ted follows.
TED
I mean that little extravagance you thought you could never afford. Like, uh, shiny red Ferrari, or perhaps a, a Warhol to hang in the loft.
Brian sits at his desk, slipping the airplane ticket into the top drawer.
TED
Or, uh, how about something for Justin? Like, uh, his own personal Learjet so he can wing back and forth from the coast to visit you?
Brian takes the teasing with a smirk and Ted heads back to the pastries.
TED [OS]
Well, I'm sure you'll come up with something to delight yourself with.
Pastry nibbling.
TED
Umm.
Brian stares at his computer.
CUT TO: INT. ELI AND MONTY'S HOUSE - NIGHT
We follow ELI, holding a dish of olives, from the hallway into the living room to find Michael and Ben standing, looking at a photo album.
BEN
Oh god, they're so cute!
Eli finishes making their Martinis at the bar.
ELI
I'm Devon's biological father and Monty's Ondine's bio dad. Same mom, however. It was important to us that they be related.
MONTY comes in from the hall.
MONTY
Finally got the kids down. I had to sing Under the Sea six times.
BEN
[laughing] Oh ho ho!
Eli hands out the drinks.
ELI
You do perform it brilliantly.
MICHAEL
Your kids are so adorable.
BEN
Yeah.
MONTY
Aw, thanks. Eli tells me you just had one of your own.
He sits in a chair. Eli sits nearby.
MICHAEL
Jenny Rebecca. Um, but we call her J.R.
He and Ben sit on the couch.
MONTY
[laughing] I love that!
MICHAEL
But we're not parenting like you.
BEN
No. Melanie and Lindsay, our lesbian friends, are the primary parents.
MONTY
Well, if you do ever decide to raise one of your own, this is the perfect neighborhood to do it. We have a huge backyard.
ELI
There's a Gymboree down the block.
MONTY
And they're even putting in a Baby Gap.
BEN
Ooh.
MICHAEL
It's funny. When I was a kid, we weren't even allowed to come over here. It was too dangerous.
MONTY
Now the only danger's if they run out of wasabi peas at Whole Foods.
They all chuckle.
BEN
Yeah, leave it to the queers to turn dross into gold.
MONTY
That's no fairy tale! Ever since the gays moved in, fixing things up, real estate prices have soared.
ELI
You guys ever think about moving?
Ben and Michael stare.
CUT TO: EXT. LIBERTY AVENUE - NIGHT
Busy night. A drag queen hugs a friend.
DRAG QUEEN
Hi! Oh my god, you look fabulous!
Michael and Ben move through the crowd.
BEN
[to a group of guys] Excuse me, pardon me. [to Michael] It's like a different world, isn't it? Between here and where Eli and Monty live?
MICHAEL
Hmn. You want to stop in for a drink?
BEN
Oh, I got a lecture to prepare.
Michael nods in understanding.
BEN
Soo, how'd you like their house?
MICHAEL
They did a great job.
BEN
Yeah.
MICHAEL
It's amazing how much that neighborhood has changed.
Looking down as they walk, Ben makes an 'ew, gross' sound and Michael looks too.
BEN
Wish this one would.
MICHAEL
What's a used condom or two.
BEN
Besides, the apartment is too small for the three of us. And that building is like a gay dorm.
MICHAEL
It's not that bad.
BEN
Not if you're twenty-four and want to fuck everything that moves. Or Brian. We're past all that, aren't we?
MICHAEL
Sure.
BEN
So, uh, whatta ya think about getting a place of our own?
MICHAEL
You really want to move...
BEN
Why not? I bet between the two of us, we can afford it.
MICHAEL
Maybe so, but this is where we live. Where I've lived my whole life. I don't know if I want to pick up and leave just like that.
BEN
[disappointed] Was just a thought.
CUT TO: INT. RIPT GYM - DAY
Emmett, water bottle in hand, reads a flyer tacked to the announcement board. Ted is beside him, eating a power bar.
EMMETT
Charming, spacious apartment to share, own bedroom, private bath, no pets, bottoms only need apply. Perfect.
He tears off a phone number.
TED
So who asked you to leave, Deb or Horvath?
EMMETT
Mm, neither. They didn't have to.
TED
Look on their faces must have been priceless when they found you entertaining.
EMMETT
Deb wanted to watch and have a Q&A afterwards.
Ted laughs.
TED
No doubt. What about Horvath?
EMMETT
Did you ever see The Blob?
TED
Mm-hm.
EMMETT
Remember the look on the old farmer's face just before it devoured him?
Ted makes a freaked-out face.
TED
ARGH!
EMMETT
Mm-hmm. So I've decided to spare everyone the discomfort of going through another embarrassing scene, quietly fold my tent and move on.
Ted nods. They walk back to the machines as Ted opens another power bar.
EMMETT
Teddy, how many of those power bars have you had?
TED
Who's counting?
EMMETT
I am. And that's your fourth.
Ted sits on a weight bench and shrugs.
EMMETT
Do you know the number of carbs in those things, not to mention the calories?
TED
So I'll burn 'em off.
EMMETT
Honey, you'd have to go up in flames.
Ted frowns and looks down at the power bar. Emmett crouches down.
EMMETT
Look I, I know you don't want to hear this so, please, please promise me you won't take it the wrong way. But as your friend I feel it's my obligation to tell you you're getting a little, um...
TED
A little what?
EMMETT
A little ... hardy. I mean, uh, ro-robust. I mean--
Brian swings into the frame.
BRIAN
Fat.
He pats Ted's middle.
TED
Fat? Wh--you think I'm fat?!
Emmett stands, looking uncomfortable.
BRIAN
Well, let's put it this way: If you start singing, it's all over.
TED
I'll have you know, I'm not fat, I'm just, I'm bulking up.
Brian and Emmett share a look.
TED
I was a shadow of my former self when I was on crystal and I shed quite a few pounds during the Liberty Ride. And I happen to think I look pretty damned good.
He takes a bite of the power bar as a blond gym twinkie, GARY, cruises him.
TED
And obviously, so does he.
Ted grins. He stands to follow, giving Brian and Emmett a smug gesture on his way.
EMMETT
Who knew you could catch twinkies by stuffing them in your mouth?
In the distance, Ted approaches Gary.
TED
Hey.
GARY
Hey.
TED
How are ya?
A gym bunny starts working on the machine Ted vacated.
EMMETT
All right, I'm off to find new digs.
He waves his towel at Brian's face.
EMMETT
Ta!
Brian snaps his towel toward Emmett just as Michael walks by, touching Brian's back in greeting. Brian swats his arm to get him to stop walking.
BRIAN
Hey. Shall we take a peek in the steam room and see what's lurking in the mist?
MICHAEL
Can't. Brett's calling from L.A., wants my input on a couple of story points for the screenplay. Ya know, stuff Rage might say.
Brian smirks at the Gym Bunny.
BRIAN
Zowy, Zephyr, check out that super cock.
He and Michael grin.
MICHAEL
Something like that.
Brian gives a low chuckle. They start walking.
MICHAEL
Besides, I thought you had a plane to catch. Justin's going to be so excited when you show up.
Brian drapes his towel over a guy's dumbbell bar as they pass.
BRIAN
I'm not going.
Michael stops and stares.
BRIAN
Trip's cancelled.
He strips his tank top off.
MICHAEL
But I thought you had all these plans to surprise him.
BRIAN
Well, I guess the surprise is there's not gonna be one.
He walks off screen, Michael following.
CUT TO: RAGE STORYBOARDS
Swineheart in a church, well-dressed men and women flocked around. He stands at a pulpit, arms raised with a bible in his hands. Behind him are two crosses and a symbol. The symbol, using the "S" for Swineheart, closely resembles a swastika.
ART DIRECTION: "Push in" inside arrows on each side of the frame.
STORYBOARDS: The enthralled audience as Swineheart preaches.
COMIC BOOK NARRATOR [VO]
Reverend Swineheart, Rage's nemesis and sworn enemy of queers everywhere, preaches his message of hate from his pulpit...
STORYBOARD: Bright orange flames rise up to engulf the screen.
STORYBOARD: Stone cave where Rage, bound, hangs upside down over a fire pit.
COMIC BOOK NARRATOR [VO]
...while deep in the catacombs of the church...
STORYBOARD: Shrinks to the same Rage storyboard with art direction.
ART DIRECTION: Use fire wipe from prev. scene.
COMIC BOOK NARRATOR [VO]
...Rage hangs suspended above the flames...
STORYBOARD: Back view of Rage over the fire.
ART DIRECTION: F.G. rock pans in. Push in.
COMIC BOOK NARRATOR [VO]
...his hands bound in really hot leather restraints...
STORYBOARD: Close-up of Rage.
ART DIRECTION: Push in-circled.
STORYBOARD: Arial shot of J.T. running down a hall.
ART DIRECTION: Panel 8. Rage: Scene 52. Track. Cut J.T. racing down the hall charges to the rescue.
COMIC BOOK NARRATOR [VO]
Meanwhile, J.T. races to the rescue.
STORYBOARD: Close-up of J.T. running.
ART DIRECTION: Cut. To show J.T.
STORYBOARD: Close-up of J.T. drawing.
ART DIRECTION: Rage: Scene 54. Cut. To C.U. J.T. running
DISSOLVE TO: INT. CALIFORNIA - DAY
J.T. becomes Justin. The action melts into Justin at his desk in the production studio. The wall behind him is covered with Rage misc. He's intent on drawing when an EMPLOYEE walks into the office and heads straight to Justin.
EMPLOYEE
Mr. Keller says they need the storyboards for the catacomb sequence now-now-now.
JUSTIN
Tell him I'm hurrying as fast as I can-can-can.
She grins. He gathers up the sheet he's drawing on plus several more sitting to his right and hands them over.
JUSTIN
Pray my hand holds out.
She rushes out just as Brett strolls in and heads toward Justin.
BRETT
You look all out of breath.
Justin lets out a laughed breath.
JUSTIN
I'm just trying to finish these storyboards for a certain demanding tyrant.
BRETT
Those? Forget it. I've got incredible news.
Justin turns to him.
BRETT
And other than a legion of studio executives, agents, publicists, managers and both trade papers, you are the very first to hear it. We just signed someone to play Rage.
JUSTIN
Who? Who!
BRETT
This is the movies. Instead of telling you, I'll show you.
Brett steps aside and we see CONNOR JAMES appear at the door. Justin matches his grin as Connor walks over.
JUSTIN
Connor.
CONNOR
Hey, man.
JUSTIN
Where have you been?
They shake hands.
BRETT
Oh, he's just back from doing a Kabuki version of Much Ado off-off-off-OFF..
Connor elbows him and he grunts.
BRETT
...Broadway.
CONNOR
What a change from working with those Hollywood hacks who aspire to nothing more than mediocrity.
BRETT
And still you don't have any problem picking up that paycheck, do you?
Connor laughs.
BRETT
Well, get ready to do some serious acting. We start flying lessons on Monday.
He moves away to an art table. Connor moves closer to Justin.
JUSTIN
I thought you turned down the part.
CONNOR
Oh, the director convinced me it'd be good for my career. Show everyone I'm a straight guy who has no problems playing gay for pay.
Behind them, Brett cackles then walks out. Justin doesn't look all that thrilled.
CUT TO: INT. MICHAEL AND BEN'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Kitchen. Emmett pointing out to Michael various dishes on the counter/stove.
EMMETT
All riiight. Stuffed eggplant, Caprese salad, humus, and the piece de resistance...
He turns with a full platter.
EMMETT
...fried chicken which is not really fried but baked to make it taste like fried so nobody feels guilty.
MICHAEL
Mel and Linds are gonna go outta their minds when we show up. I can't thank you enough for all of this, Em.
EMMETT
My pleasure, sweetie.
He turns to stare down at a casserole on the stove, pointing.
EMMETT
What's this?
BEN
Oh, casserole I made to take along. Millet, leeks and soy cheese.
EMMETT
Are you sure you're not a lesbian?
Ben moves around him to get a box of bags. They bump into each other.
EMMETT
Whoopsie.
He moves to get the chicken.
BEN
Kitchen's so tiny, you can barely turn around.
Emmett hip-checks Ben, laughing.
EMMETT
Care to dance?
Only he and Michael laugh. Emmett puts the chicken in the fridge.
EMMETT
Which isn't too much of a stretch, considering Baby Babylon blasting across the way.
BEN
Tell me about it.
Walks away. Michael watches knowingly.
EMMETT
Why are his firm, manly tits in a twist?
MICHAEL
He thinks the building's turning into a den of iniquity. Sex, drugs, cruising.
EMMETT
Okay, so those are the advantages. What are the liabilities?
MICHAEL
That basically we've outgrown this place.
EMMETT
Well, let's face it, honey, you are Sadie, Sadie, married lady. With the hubby and piglets to prove it. I, on the other hand, remain wantonly single. So if you're moving out, maybe I should move back in.
MICHAEL
We're not moving.
INT. FRONT DOOR
Ben opens it to poke his head out. The hall is filled with young guys milling around, drinking and talking. Ben calls over his shoulder.
BEN
Would you look at this?
Emmett and Michael join him from the kitchen.
BEN
[raises voice out the hall] It's like homo central!
GUY [OS]
Bite me!
Michael laughs, Emmett pokes his head out curiously.
MICHAEL
Calm down. They're just young and having fun. You were that age once, remember?
BEN
That's exactly the point. We're not that age anymore. It's time to move to a house, on a street like Eli and Monty.
MICHAEL
Buying a house is not like buying a CD or a sweater. Even if we did decide to do it, first we'd have to review our finances, check out the numbers. Right, Em?
Emmett turns from checking out the hotties in the hall.
EMMETT
Oh, I'd say checking out the numbers is essential.
Grinning, he leaves, closing the door behind him.CUT TO: EXT. DOWNTOWN - DAY
Brian and Michael walking side by side along the storefronts.
BRIAN
Hmn, trying to dispose of a large sum of expendable income is more exhausting than one might think.
MICHAEL
Whoever said the world was fair. Next time you'll think twice before becoming a success.
Brian wraps his left arm around Michael's shoulders.
BRIAN
Well, you're not doing so bad yourself.
Michael shrugs.
MICHAEL
Ben wants us to buy a house in that new area where all the gay couples are moving.
Brian makes a face.
BRIAN
Ohh, and become Stepford fags?
MICHAEL
Maybe you should get a new place. House in the country.
BRIAN
I hate the fucking country.
MICHAEL
A yacht?
BRIAN
[laughs] Right. Pittsburgh: The New St. Tropez.
He stops to look into a Knoll furniture storefront. Michael stops and waits.
MICHAEL
Ride on the space shuttle?
BRIAN
I'm a tad shy of twenty mill.
They resume walking.
MICHAEL
Then how about a bottle of wine for Mel and Linds's anniversary bash?
BRIAN
Who says I'll be there?
MICHAEL
Well, I figured since you'd canceled your trip.
He shrugs.
BRIAN
Ahh, doesn't mean I'm gonna be raising a glass to their marathon muffathon.
Michael grins. They turn a corner. Seeing a top line red/black motorcycle in a store display, Brian stops and points.
BRIAN
That. Is a distinct possibility.
Hands in pockets as he stares at it.
Camera shifts to the motorcycle's POV as we look out on B/M through the glass.
MICHAEL
Hmn.
Brian squints at a thought.
BRIAN
Can you imagine eating pussy -- the same pussy -- for ten years?
He shudders a "yuck" face.
MICHAEL
No, but I don't suppose they could fathom sucking the same cock.
BRIAN
That makes three of us.
Michael side-eyes him.
MICHAEL
Unless it's Justin's.
Camera POV back to normal.
Brian pauses, then squints at Michael. Michael smirks back, then shrugs.
MICHAEL
It's a shame you couldn't go to L.A.
Brian looks away, shrugs.
BRIAN
I'm busy. And he's busy.
MICHAEL
We're all busy. I just hope he gets back soon so we can finish the next issue of Rage.
BRIAN
He's not coming back.
MICHAEL
What do you mean, he's not coming back? Did he tell you that?
BRIAN
He didn't have to.
MICHAEL
When I spoke to him, all he said was that he was going to have to be there longer than he--
BRIAN
Listen, Mikey. Are you listening?
MICHAEL
[exasperated] Yes! Christ sake, I'm listening.
BRIAN
Just figure it out for yourself. I mean, first it's three months, then it's six months. One project turns into another and another. Before you know it, he's there a year. Five years.
CUT TO: INT. CALIFORNIA - DAY
Bedroom. Justin getting fucked by Connor doggie style. We mainly only hear Justin's moans and gasps.
JUSTIN
[under his breath] Oh, yeah...
CUT TO: EXT. DOWNTOWN - DAY
We see Brian and Michael's reflections in the store window. Brian shrugs.
BRIAN
It's the way it goes.
CUT TO: INT. CALIFORNIA - DAY
More fucking. Connor holding onto Justin's hips. Justin rearing up, gasping and reaching back to hold on as Connor bands an arm over Justin's shoulder and across his chest.
CUT TO: EXT. DOWNTOWN - DAY
Justin's moans bleed over. We hear them in the background as Brian talks.
BRIAN
I mean, I don't blame him. He's having the time of his life, working in the movies. He's fucking movie stars.
CUT TO: INT. CALIFORNIA - DAY
Still fucking. Justin buries his head in the blankets, rears up and comes as the camera slides to the left.
CUT TO: EXT. DOWNTOWN - DAY
Brian staring into the window. He purses his lips, looking sad. We can still hear Justin and Connor panting.
MICHAEL [OS]
That doesn't mean he's never coming home.
BRIAN
Who the hell'd come back to Pittsburgh after L.A.? I mean, if it was me, I'd never come back.
Camera POV back to normal.
Long beat. Traffic sounds, a siren. Michael rolls his eyes.
MICHAEL
He's not you.
Brian stands still a moment longer. Finally rolls his lips in and mentally brings himself back. After a small shrug and dismissing sound, he looks at Michael.
BRIAN
Well. It's time he got on with his life.
Crosses in front of Michael as he resumes walking.
BRIAN
It's time I got on with mine.
Looking unsettled, Michael stares after him for a few seconds before following.
CUT TO: INT. LINDSAY AND MELANIE'S HOUSE - DAY
Melanie, holding J.R., walks through the dining room.
MELANIE
Can't believe how someone so little could have so much poop in them. You just might grow up to be a lawyer.
She's heading up the stairs when a knock on the door has her turning to answer it.
EXT. HOUSE
Michael at the door, knocking.
Melanie opens the door. Michael is leaning against the frame, grinning.
MICHAEL
Hey, Mel.
MELANIE
Hey ... Michael.
MICHAEL
Whatcha up to?
Melanie starts bouncing J.R.
MELANIE
Changing you-know-whose you-know-what for the billionth time today.
MICHAEL
Is that how you're going to spend your tenth anniversary?
MELANIE
You got a better idea?
Michael's grin gets wider.
MICHAEL
As a matter of fact...
He moves inside just as the whole family, Deb in the lead with a Jell-O mold, rushes into view. It sounds like a stampede on the porch.
EVERYBODY
Surprise!
Melanie gapes, definitely surprised. Everyone laughs and moves into the house, carrying food, balloons, flowers.
DEB
Surprise!
She sees J.R. and quickly hands the Jell-O mold off to Carl. She and Michael fuss over J.R.
DEB
Ohh, how's my granddaughter?
Deb takes her from Melanie.
DEB
I haven't seen you forever.
MELANIE
Well, yeah, not since this morning.
DEB
[to J.R.] I scared you, Sweetheart.
Deb walks away, wiping J.R.'s cheek, as Emmett comes forward with a plate of food.
EMMETT
Wipe the dyke in the headlights look off your face. You are having a surprise party, courtesy of Auntie Em's Special Occasions.
Ben's next up, holding his casserole.
BEN
And you don't have to lift a finger, everything's been taken care of!
Ben, Ted and Gary hurry by.
GUEST [OS]
Hey, Happy Tenth, Mel!
Guests flood in while Melanie watches, stunned. Emmett's waving guests in the door.
EMMETT
Food in the dining room, please!
MICHAEL
[to Melanie] Where's Linds?
MELANIE
Ahhh... She went to the grocery store. With Gus.
MICHAEL
We want to surprise her, too.
MELANIE
[shaky laugh] Oh, she'll be surprised. Would you excuse me for a sec?
MICHAEL
[nods] Uh-huh.
The door finally gets closed and Michael follows the stampede with a huge grin.
INT. BEDROOM
Melanie quickly slips in and closes the door, muffling the party sounds from below. Rushes to the phone on the dresser and punches in a number. We watch in the mirror as she dials and paces.
LINDSAY
[on the phone] Hello?
MELANIE
Hey, it's me.
LINDSAY
Is something wrong?
MELANIE
Yeah, fucking right something's wrong!
LINDSAY
With the baby?
MELANIE
No, [sigh] no, it's not with the baby. It just... Get your ass over here quick!
LINDSAY
Why?
MELANIE
They're giving us a fucking surprise party.
Close up on the dresser mirror. Two photos: Melanie, Lindsay holding newborn Gus, and Brian sitting on the hospital bed. The second is infant J.R. half under a blanket.
INT. DINING ROOM
People milling around, glasses of wine in hand. We spot Ted and Michael at the buffet. In profile, we can see Ted has a sizeable belly. Looking tense, Melanie stands behind them, eating and warily watching the guests.
TED
Well, Emmett's done it again. The food's great.
Gary offers Ted some food.
TED
Aww, I couldn't...
Michael turns around to Melanie.
MICHAEL
She must be really stocking up.
Pops food in his mouth.
TED
[to Gary] Really? It's for me?
MELANIE
Well, you know. Double coupons.
Walks away, licking her fingers.
Gary feeding Ted. Ted moans orgasmically. Emmett eyes them briefly as he attends the food.
TED
[mouth full] Mmm, mmm, that's good.
We follow Emmett into the living room where Deb is studying Ted. Em sets the food down on the coffee table.
DEB
Is Teddy getting tubby?
Em follows her gaze.
EMMETT
Hmph.
Shot of Ted and Gary at the buffet.
EMMETT
Considering the adorableness of his new beau, I'd say fat's the new thin.
Eats a finger sandwich.
DEB
So where you been keeping yourself? I barely see you since I've moved back.
EMMETT
Um, actually I've been out looking for a place.
DEB
A place? For what?
EMMETT
To... live.
Deb's smile vanishes.
DEB
Why the hell would you do that? It's not because we walked in and found you fucking some guy. Is it?
EMMETT
Well...
DEB
[laughing] That was just a case of bad timing, that's all. I mean, it's kind of funny actually, when you think about it.
EMMETT
I'm not sure that Carl found it to be...
Shot of Carl and Michael talking/laughing and doing some manly arm squeezing.
EMMETT [OS]
...the laugh riot you did.
DEB
Don't worry about Carl. He'll get used to it.
EMMETT
He shouldn't have to. The house should be the two of yours, Deb. Not the three of ours.
DEB
But, he'll never be Blanche when I'm playing Baby Jane. He doesn't have the shoulders or the eyebrows. C'mon, you think he's gonna take me to Sing Along With Wizard Of Oz, or get dishy with me during the award shows, or pull my face back and tell me how much work I need? In other words... Em. You're irreplaceable.
Em has been smiling fondly the whole time. Now his smile fades.
EMMETT
We both have to face it, Deb. Life with your detective does not include me.
He walks away, leaving a crushed Deb.
INT. FRONT DOOR
Melanie pacing. The door opens; it's Lindsay holding Gus. Melanie pounces forward.
MELANIE
What the hell took you so long?
Lindsay closes the door.
GUS
Hi, mommy.
Melanie half-waves at him, distracted.
LINDSAY
I had to wake up Gus, get dressed.
Melanie waves it away and quickly leads them out to the party.
MELANIE
Here she is!
Shot of the living room as guests look over.
BEN
Oh, hey!
EVERYONE
Surprise!
Shot of the dining room as Ted, Gary and Em clap and move closer.
Lindsay feigns surprise as she puts Gus down. Melanie sweeps an arm across the room, then throws her other one around Lindsay's shoulders. She grins tightly.
MELANIE
Isn't that great, our friends throwing us a surprise party for our anniversary?
BEN
Where are the groceries?
LINDSAY
The groceries...? Oh oh, they're being delivered tomorrow!
Ben and Michael nod.
BEN
Oh.
Emmett swoops in.
EMMETT
Does everyone have champagne?
He hands a glass to a flustered Lindsay. Melanie tries to wave that off as well, but Emmett quickly goes in search of another glass.
EMMETT
Oh, can't toast without a glaaass...
Shot of all the guests holding their glasses, happy and waiting.
BEN
We know how exhausted you two are.
Shot of Melanie and Lindsay looking nervous.
BEN [OS]
We couldn't let this landmark go by without a liiiittle celebration.
Michael is nodding wildly.
MICHAEL
Ten years is quite an achievement.
DEB
[laughs] I'll say.
Emmett ducks in to hand Melanie her glass, who keeps her eyes on the guests. Lindsay cuts her eyes to Mel knowingly.
BEN [OS]
Now, more than ever, it's important people know that a gay couple can be just as committed as any straight couple.
The guests agree. Michael raises his glass.
MICHAEL
To Mel and Linds!
Melanie raises her glass -- orange juice in a regular glass.
EVERYONE
To Mel and Linds!
DEB
Speech from the old married couple, c'mon!
LINDSAY
There is something we'd like to say...
Melanie whips around to Linds.
MELANIE
No, there isn't. [lower] Now is not the right time.
LINDSAY
When is the right time?
Michael leans in innocently.
MICHAEL
Right time for what?
They look at him. Beat.
LINDSAY
[to guests] I think you all should know--
MELANIE
How much we appreciate this.
LINDSAY
[snaps] Would you stop?
The guests grow quiet, uncomfortable. Shot of Deb/Carl staring.
LINDSAY
[to Mel] We can't hide it anymore, it isn't fair.
Shot of Michael/Ben then Ted/Gary/Em, all quiet. Lindsay turns back to the crowd.
LINDSAY
Thank you for all your good wishes. But you see, Melanie and I are having some problems.
Melanie snorts.
MELANIE
[to crowd] I wasn't having any problems. I - I was trying to have a baby.
LINDSAY
[to Mel] All right, I'm the one, I'm the one responsible for all the problems.
MELANIE
Damn right you are!
LINDSAY
For which I've apologized endlessly. But you still refuse to accept the fact--
MELANIE
That fucking Sam Auerbach had nothing to do with sex?!
The guest start to murmur.
MELANIE
It was all about art. All the humping was about form and function.
She shakes her head, disgusted.
Shot of the guests, stunned.
LINDSAY
[to guests] The truth is, we haven't been living together since our daughter was born.
Everyone further stunned. Lindsay turns and walks to the stairs. Michael lowers his head, trying to process.
CUT TO: INT. BABYLON - NIGHT
Backroom. Pretty boys fucking montage to a club beat. Close-up of Brian standing against the wall, getting sucked. Suddenly the house lights go up, the music cuts off. Brian squints, looking around.
GUY #1 [OS]
Who turned on the lights?!
Aerial shot of the room. Black walls, dirty floor, neon pink "X" on the hallway wall, fourteen guys in the shot, including Brian. Everyone but the trick sucking Brian stops to look around.
GUY #2
What the fuck's going on?
GUY #3
Turn 'em off!
GUY #4 [OS]
Fuck!
Brian looks around, frowning.
GUY #5 [OS]
Turn the fucking lights back off!
GUY #6 [OS]
Jesus Christ!
GUY #7 [OS]
That's not funny. Not fucking funny.
More grumbling. We pull back to see Brian, holding his trick by the head, enjoying his blowjob. Two police officers stride into the room.
OFFICER #1
Gentlemen!
The guys turn to look.
OFFICER #1 [OS]
May I have your attention.
GUY #8 [OS]
Aw, man.
Brian looks at the officers, still getting blown.
OFFICER #1
This club is officially closed.
Some guys scurry to get clothes, others don't bother redressing as they file out. Brian and his trick keep on sucking.
OFFICER #1
So pull up your pants and go home.
OFFICER #2
Let's go, come on. Come on!
GUY #9 [OS]
That's my shirt...
OFFICER #2
Let's go. Everybody. Party's over, let's go.
OFFICER #1
[to Brian] That includes you.
BRIAN
[breathless] Just wait a sec.
A few seconds of panting and he comes. The officer shakes his head but looks away. Another few seconds to catch his breath and retuck himself then Brian grins widely.
BRIAN
Thanks, Officer. I'll do the same for you one day.
He leaves, the officer watching him go.
CUT TO: INT. LINDSAY AND MELANIE'S HOUSE - NIGHT
Dining room. Melanie, Lindsay and Ben sit at the table. Michael slowly paces to the doorway. There's an uncomfortable silence.
LINDSAY
I come here every day to be with the baby.
MELANIE
And so I can be with Gus.
LINDSAY
Then Gus and I go back to the apartment.
MICHAEL
You have an apartment?
LINDSAY
Yeah, small one bedroom I've been renting.
MELANIE
We've been renting. Although we can barely afford this place.
LINDSAY
[to Melanie] Well, Gus and I have to live somewhere. Or would you rather we sleep on the street?
MELANIE
Did I say that?
BEN
We're just a little thrown. Ya gotta admit -- it's a shock.
LINDSAY
I wanted it all out in the open.
MELANIE
[snaps] Well, I didn't. I'm the one who had the baby. I had enough to deal with without having to explain to everyone.
BEN
Look, you've been having personal problems, we understand--
Michael walks over, upset.
MICHAEL
No, we do not understand! How could you not say a word all this time?
Lindsay lowers her gaze.
MICHAEL
So when were you gonna tell me? After she grew up and went to college and got married and had children of her own?
Melanie rolls her eyes and stands up from the table.
MICHAEL
I have seen you practically every day since Jenny was born and it's always been so sweet, so adorable, the two doting mothers. Well, who woulda guessed it was a big fucking lie.
LINDSAY
We made a wrong decision by not telling you. For which we are truly sorry. But we've been under a lot of stress.
MELANIE
[catty] Ohh, ain't that the truth. You have no idea how deceit can raise your blood pressure.
Lindsay draws a breath, taking the jab without comment.
MICHAEL
When I agreed to be the baby's father, it was because I knew she would be raised in a loving home with two loving parents. Not in some sort of time-sharing arrangement with complimentary sniping!
Melanie seethes, uncomfortable.
MICHAEL
Now you can make all the excuses you want, but if this is how you plan on raising our daughter, then we should never have had her in the first place!
Long beat as he stares at them, upset. Lindsay is stunned. Michael walks out, leaving Ben at the table.
CUT TO: TED'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Ted and Gary watching T.V. in bed. There's a pizza box between them. Ted, in a gray t-shirt, is eating a slice. Gary, no shirt and no pizza, laughs at the movie.
GARY
God, I love this part.
Ted gives him an amused look.
TED
[mouth full] Frankly, I've, I've never been too keen about the Grumpy Old Men movies.
GARY
I love the classics.
They laugh, Ted pats his cheek.
TED
[scoffs] 'Classics.'
Gary reaches for a pizza slice.
GARY
Here, have another.
TED
[chewing] Nope, no, no, I couldn't.
Wipes his hands on a napkin.
GARY
Come on...
Waves the slice enticingly.
TED
Nope, six is my absolute limit.
GARY
Come on!
Offers the slice again.
TED
[grunting playfully] No!
He grunts like a bull being shown the red cape before finally taking a bite. Gary laughs.
TED
Ya know, at this rate, I'm gonna turn into that guy I saw on T.V. He was so fat they had to remove a wall to get him out of the house.
He pats his tummy.
GARY
Fine by me.
Ted laughs and runs his knuckles over Gary's chest, attention back on the T.V.
GARY
There is something about the scent of an old guy.
Ted squawks at that, but Gary is leaning in to sniff his neck and Ted laughs. Gary pulls back.
GARY
Makes me so hot.
Ted makes an interested sound. Gary touches his hair.
GARY
The lovely gray flecks turning into white...
Unsure now, Ted laughs awkwardly while Gary stares lovingly at his head.
GARY
The baby bottom pink scalp, peeking through the little hairs on top, like wild grass on the beach...
Ted's frowning. Turned on, Gary grabs his cock under the covers. Ted jumps, eyes widening.
GARY
And to grab onto those love handles while I'm shooting all over that big, full belly...
He grins, seemingly not phased that Ted's giving him a 'What the fuck?' look, and reaches for another pizza slice.
GARY
Come on, lover.
Shoves the slice's end into Ted's mouth.
GARY
Eat.
Stunned, Ted bites then gives him a 'hi-your-name-is-crazy' smile.
CUT TO: INT. DEB'S HOUSE - NIGHT
Emmett's bent over, looking in the fridge. Off-screen, someone clears their throat, then a shoulder in the frame.
EMMETT
[whispers] Sean, honey, I told you to stay in my room.
We see it's Carl. They're both in just their underwear.
CARL
I'm not Sean, honey.
Emmett turns and chuckles.
EMMETT
Oop.
He hides behind the fridge door. Carl is just as uncomfortable.
EMMETT
Clearly.
CARL
Hand me the cranberry juice.
EMMETT
Yeah.
He turns to get the bottle and hands it over. Carl quickly takes it and promptly holds it in front of his crotch, clearing his throat again and looking away briefly.
CARL
I've been meaning for us to have a ... powwow. Although, I never imagined it to be...
EMMETT
[laughs] Au naturel? Well, you have nothing to worry about. My lust bunny is locked away in my room. Even put a gag in his mouth. Course, it was leather and he begged me to do it.
He laughs, but Carl just stares.
EMMETT
Anyways, uh, starting Sunday, uh, you and Deb will have this place all to yourselves.
Grabs a foam carton from the fridge and closes the door.
EMMETT
Um, uh, buffalo wings?
Goes to the counter. Carl follows.
CARL
Deb is very upset you're leaving.
Emmett gets a plate out of the cupboard.
EMMETT
Up to you now to stop her from buying everything on QVC.
Carl leans against the counter.
CARL
Truth is, I'm a little sorry to see you go myself.
Head down, Emmett's plating up his wings.
EMMETT
You are?
CARL
Is that such a surprise?
EMMETT
Frankly, yes. Most straight men take one look at me and head for the hills. Except for my father. He ran me out on a rail.
CARL
Well, that's his loss. You're a good man. [beat] In fact, considering, uh, the number of hours I work -- sometimes all night -- [sigh] I'd be a hell of a lot happier if I knew Deb wasn't in the house alone.
Emmett grins.
EMMETT
Carl Horvath. You asking me to stay?
Carl laughs.
CARL
Doesn't take a detective to figure that out. But, it's up to you.
EMMETT
Well, what about my sex--my love life?
CARL
I bought a sound machine. All I hear now is raindrops falling, rivers flowing, birds chirping.
EMMETT
Maybe I should get one of those. Pretend I'm fucking in a rain forest.
They laugh.
EMMETT
Oh, uh, I'd better get back to...
He bites on his finger long-wise, meaning his gagged love bunny.
CARL
Ahh, Sean honey.
Plate in hand, Emmett grins, waves a roll of paper towels at Carl. He starts to leave, but pauses.
EMMETT
Ya know, if, um, if you were gay, you'd make one hell of a bear.
Flashes Carl the sexy eye and grins. Carl gives him a look. Grinning, Em leaves him to take a slug of his cranberry juice.
CUT TO: INT. LIBERTY AVENUE DINER - DAY
Deb, behind the counter and restocking the dessert display with cinnamon rolls, talks to Michael sitting at the counter.
DEB
I told Melanie -- she was sitting right over there -- I said, Doesn't matter what's going on between you and Lindsay, your first responsibility is that baby.
Michael nods and drinks from a glass bottle. We see a male CUSTOMER sitting next to him with a dinner.
CUSTOMER
Deb, could I get a piece of the key lime?
DEB
When you finish your meatloaf. [to Michael] But did they listen?
She slams down the lid on the dessert display.
MICHAEL
Obviously not.
DEB
Instead they go and destroy a family. They turn a happy home into a broken one.
MICHAEL
Without even telling us.
Brian appears to sit next to Michael. The "order's up" bell from the kitchen sounds off twice.
BRIAN
Coffee to go, Deb.
DEB
Want anything with it?
BRIAN
How could you eat after what happened last night?
MICHAEL
You're telling me! Steam's still coming out of my ears.
The COOK rings the bell a bunch more times.
COOK
Hey, Deb!
Deb turns and points.
DEB
If I hear that fucking thing one more time, you're gonna be hearing bells!
She pours Brian's coffee.
BRIAN
My heart's broken. My soul? Crushed.
MICHAEL
How do you think I feel?
BRIAN
The insensitivity. You know, it's amoral, that's what it is.
Deb drops his coffee off as she passes by.
MICHAEL
You're telling me.
He drinks.
BRIAN
How could they do this?
Adds sugar to his coffee.
MICHAEL
You were right. Never trust munchers.
Brian frowns.
BRIAN
Munchers?
MICHAEL
Mel and Linds.
BRIAN
What the hell have they got to do with it?
Stirs his coffee with a fork.
MICHAEL
Who do you think's responsible?
BRIAN
For closing Babylon?
Michael's nose twitches.
CUT TO: EXT. AN ALLEY - DAY
Brian and Michael turn off the sidewalk and into an alley. Brian has his coffee cup in his right hand.
MICHAEL
Is that all you care about? Who gives a shit if the cops close down Babylon?
BRIAN
I, for one, give a very big shit that that come stain Sapperstein was defrauding the Internal Revenue Service by hiding thousands -- perhaps even hundreds of thousands -- of dollars up in his office in pillowcases. Which, knowing him, you can be sure were not the highest thread count. And now because of his illegal activities, Babylon is gone. Kaput. Finito.
MICHAEL
And that concerns you more than the fact that Mel and Linds were lying to us? That now my daughter and your son are the products of a broken home.
Brian laughs as they come to the end of the alley and the 'Vette. He leans against the driver side door.
BRIAN
Christ. The three of you. Never saw such drama queens. First Lindsay was wailing to me on the phone the night she and Melanie split and now you.
MICHAEL
[upset] Wait a minute. You telling me you knew about this and you didn't tell me?
BRIAN
[calm] She asked me not to.
Disbelieving, Michael points as he backs up.
MICHAEL
So your loyalty to her was more important than our friendship.
BRIAN
Don't make this about us, Michael. Because it's not.
Michael stares, feeling betrayed. Brian straightens up from the 'Vette and smiles as he raises his coffee cup toast-like.
BRIAN
The ever-changing kaleidoscope of life.
He takes a drink and turns toward the car to go while Michael stares.
CUT TO: ANIMATED RAGE ART
A spacescape drawn in blues with twinkling white stars. J.T., drawn in black and white, floats away from our POV.
COMIC BOOK NARRATOR [VO]
J.T. floats, lost among the stars, wondering if he'll ever see Rage again.
DISSOLVE TO: INT. CALIFORNIA - DAY
The camera slides to the right and we see the J.T. art is on an art studio computer. We pan up to Justin standing at his drawing board, contemplating five sheets of paper (four have typed lines, the fifth has three Rage panels drawn in b/w) that are laid out. Other employees are working at desks and milling about. Same employee from earlier walks over to hand him a sheet of paper. He takes it with a polite smile.
JUSTIN
[quietly] Thank you.
He looks the paper over, itching his left temple. Sets the paper down and pulls out his cell phone. Enters a number when a voice sounds from behind.
CONNOR [OS]
I promised I'd come for you, J.T.
Justin turns and grins when he sees Connor in his Rage costume -- silver spandex with the chest rip and black eye mask.
CONNOR
Even if I had to go to the end of the universe.
Still grinning, Justin snaps his phone closed and turns full around.
CONNOR
I just did a test in front of a green screen.
Justin waves him to do a modeling twirl; Connor does.
CONNOR
So? What do you think?
JUSTIN
It's hot.
CONNOR
And [shimmies shoulders] itchy.
They laugh. Connor looks down at his crotch.
CONNOR
Check out this package.
Justin guffaws.
JUSTIN
That's gonna win an Oscar for special effects.
CONNOR
Didn't hear you complaining.
Having advanced a few steps, Connor playfully pokes him in the stomach several times as a laughing Justin bats his hands away. Behind them, Brett walks in and stops just inside the door.
BRETT
Okay, superhero, turn in your tights. Fenderman just pulled the plug.
CONNOR
What?
JUSTIN
He can't do that.
Brett walks further into the room and picks up some papers off a desk.
BRETT
He can and he did. He just reamed my ass and not like in scene thirty-two where Rage gives J.T. the rimming of a lifetime. Oh, the picture's over budget, over schedule.
JUSTIN
You said they say that about every picture.
BRETT
They do.
CONNOR
Then what's the real reason?
BRETT
He's afraid. The times, the political climate.
JUSTIN
Well, he's wrong. Tell him there are millions of queers out there with billions of dollars.
BRETT
I did. He's more concerned about alienating the family audience. Pissing off the Parent Corporation, displeasing someone in Washington who can make that tax break very hard to come by.
JUSTIN
What, so it's over? Just like that?
BRETT
He's greenlighting The Passion of Moses. Gay's out. God's in.
Disgusted, he leaves. Connor looks back at a stunned Justin, who backs up to sit at his drawing board with a deep sigh.
EMPLOYEE [OS]
Wow.
CUT TO: INT. LINDSAY AND MELANIE'S HOUSE - DAY
Melanie holds J.R. in the living room. Lindsay and Gus come in the front door, where Lindsay crouches to remove his coat. Gus sneezes.
MELANIE
Oh, sweetie, do you have a cold?
Lindsay wipes Gus's nose with a tissue.
LINDSAY
Yeah, I think he caught one last night.
MELANIE
I wouldn't be surprised. Dragging him over here so we can play one big happy family.
Gus goes upstairs. Lindsay stands.
LINDSAY
I didn't drag him. And you're the one who called. Who insisted we keep up this ridiculous charade.
MELANIE
And you saw why I did, didn't you? Now we have to deal with all their shit as well as our own.
Beat. Bounces J.R. in her arms.
MELANIE
Oh, speaking of shit. Did you bring his medication?
They walk into the dining room where Melanie lays J.R. down on the table to change her diaper. Lindsay pulls a bottle out of her purse.
LINDSAY
Delicious cherry flavor your kids will love? He hates it.
She sets the medicine down on the table, moves toward J.R.
LINDSAY
Here, why don't you let me do it...
Melanie angrily waves her off. Lindsay backs away.
MELANIE
Cos I can do it! Would you just go to work already? [quietly] God.
Lindsay walks away, then turns to talk to Melanie's back.
LINDSAY
It had to be done. We had to tell them.
Melanie closes her eyes, drops her head down, sad.
MELANIE
It's just that...
Shakes her head some more.
LINDSAY
What?
More head shaking from Melanie.
MELANIE
Telling them ... seeing their faces ... knowing they know.
J.R. half-cries. Melanie squeezes her eyes closed, turns. Beat.
MELANIE
Somehow makes it real.
Long beat. J.R. fusses. Lindsay leaves. We hear the front door open/close as Melanie turns back to J.R.
CUT TO: EXT. RESIDENTIAL STREET IN THE SUBURBS - DAY
Beautiful houses with manicured yards. The streets are rain-wet. Eli (holding Devon's hand) and Monty (pushing Ondine in a stroller) walk down the sidewalk. Michael and Ben follow.
ELI
[to Devon] Yeah?
Devon chatters. Long beat.
ELI
[to the adults] We're having some of the neighbors over Sunday for a BBQ. I've asked a couple members of our illustrious English department, Kelly and Braverman--
MONTY
Why don't you guys come too?
MICHAEL
That sounds great.
ELI
And be sure to bring Hunter.
Devon is still chattering, Eli looks down and laughs.
MAN #1 [OS]
Hi!
Monty waves across the street. The others look and smile.
MONTY
Hey!
Across the street, we see two smiling men on the sidewalk with a double stroller. They wave.
MAN #2
Oh, how's it going?
Michael gives a "hey" wave back.
ELI
They just moved in across the street. They got twins.
BEN
Ahh, seems like everyone around here's got kids.
He glances at Michael.
MONTY
Won't be long before you'll be out strolling along with your own bambino, too.
Points across the street at a house.
MONTY
This one just went on the market.
Hand on Monty's arm, Eli stops the group to look.
ELI
Nice yard, but it could use a make-over.
Michael and Ben turn to look.
MONTY [OS]
Couldn't we all.
The camera pans down the front of a two-story red house.
MONTY [OS]
Wonder what they're asking.
ELI [OS]
Well, in that condition, it's probably a bargain.
Camera pans further down. The roof is buckled, the paint chipped, plants are dying. There's a Remax reality sign in the yard. Pat Gavendall - 555-2368.
ELI
Sure you guys aren't interested?
Ben looks at him. Michael keeps staring at the house.
BEN
[reluctant] Oh ... we've talked it over and we've decided to stay put for now.
MICHAEL
How soon could we see it?
Ben looks at Michael, frowns in confused shock. Michael turns to face him, face soft.
MICHAEL
Like you said, we're on top of each other in the apartment. Hunter needs his own space. Jenny Rebecca's gonna need her own room. A yard to play in.
Eli, pen cap in his mouth, is already writing on a slip of paper.
MONTY
We'll write down the realtor’s number and you can give him a call.
Ben looks from him back to Michael.
BEN
[quietly] I thought you wanted to stay on Liberty Avenue.
Beat. Michael smiles.
MICHAEL
Maybe it's time for a change.
CUT TO: INT. BABYLON
Aerial shot. Place is empty, the lights are up, glitter and trash on the floor, old beer bottles on the bar. Brian stands in the center, hands in pockets, looking around. We zoom in on him. Sound of a metal door clanging open.
TED [OS]
Brian!
Brian smiles and turns as a harried Ted walks in.
TED
So why the urgent message, 'Meet me at Babylon now?'
Brian walks behind the bar.
BRIAN
I found that little something you told me to treat myself to.
TED
What?
BRIAN
You're standing in it.
Ted looks down. Brian pours a drink. Ted looks up, realization dawning.
TED
Babylon?!
Brian knocks back his drink as Ted walks over.
TED
I said the toy, not the playroom!
BRIAN
I want it!
TED
Oh, you want it. What for?
Brian comes around the bar, puts an arm across Ted's shoulders and leads them over to the stairs.
BRIAN
Well, I gotta keep the boys off the streets at night.
Ted sighs.
BRIAN
I've got to provide them with a warm, friendly environment in which to use illegal substances and have promiscuous sex--
He stops and points at Ted.
BRIAN
--safely of course!
TED
A noble sentiment, but investment-wise, not very practical.
BRIAN
And what would be practical, Theodore?
He starts up the stairs alone.
BRIAN
To get married and move to the suburbs--
Ted sighs and walks off a little. Brian continues up the stairs, looking down at Ted as he walks.
BRIAN
--become a home-loving, child-raising, God-fearing imitation heterosexual?
He scoffs, reaching the catwalk.
BRIAN
And for what? So that I can become another dead soul going to the mall and dropping my kids off at school and having BBQs in the backyard.
Shot of Ted looking up. We hear Brian scoff again, then see him reach the end of the catwalk and lean against the railing. He reaches out to touch a disco ball suspended from the ceiling.
BRIAN
That's their death. Not mine.
Turning to the panel behind him, he throws the breaker. House lights go down, dance lights come up. Ted watches. Brian spins back around to lean over the railing, looking down at Ted and yells.
BRIAN
I'm a cocksucker!
Starts walking the catwalk.
BRIAN
I'm queer! And to anyone who takes pity or offense...
Stopped at the railing, he tosses some old confetti down as Ted looks up, entranced.
BRIAN
I say, Judge yourself.
Camera pans up from the floor to the catwalk. Brian, arms spread on the railing, is highlighted in blue and yellow lights and a dark strain of music beginning.
BRIAN
This is where I live. This is who I am.
Camera holds on him for a few beats, then slowly begins to pull back. The music swells.
COMIC BOOK NARRATOR [VO]
And as Rage stands at the precipice of a new world...
The music swells. Animated storyboard sketches fly by in Pride colors. Scenes: Brian at the railing; Brian and Justin kissing with "they kiss passionately" direction; sun and planets; Brian holding a "Hardbody Heroes" poster and smiling at Michael at Red Cape Comics; word "BRAVE"; Brian smiling at Michael; planetscape with the words "BRAVE NEW WORLD"; Brian, Michael and Ben at Woody's bar; word "NEW"; Michael talking to Brian's profile; planets; word "WORLD"; Brian looking into the distance; Brian in a crowd, looking alone; Brian head cocked and in a tank top, speaking.
FADE TO BLACK.
