Script VO 513
Michael [off]:
They say that change is good for you, that it keeps you on your toes. Well, if that's true, i should be a fucking ballerina. Who'd have believed that Babylon would be a bombed-out memory? Or that Mel and Linz would be moving to Canada? Or that Ted would at last find true love? Or that... I can barely even say it, but i'll try. That Mr. Brian Kinney would ask Mr. Justin Taylor for his hand in marriage?
Holy shit!
Brian: Holy shit. Justin: What?
Brian: You look…
Justin: Good? Bad? Laughable?
Brian: … Beautiful. Justin: I do?
Brian: It's not a question. It's a declaration. So try and be more emphatic when the minister asks you if you want to go through with this.
Justin: I do.
Ben and Michael’s house:
Michael [off]: Meanwhile, over at our house, things were pretty much the same, which, after nearly getting blown up, was fine by me.
Ben: Okay, the difference between Greek, Elizabethan and Modern Tragedy.
Michael: You're allowed one phone call.
Ben: Hush!
[Phone ringing]
Hunter: I'll get it.
Ben: Anything to avoid studying.
Hunter: Hello?
Michael: How's he doing?
Ben: Oh he's got a lot of catching up to do, but i'm hopeful.
Michael: Hey, look at this.
Hunter: Yeah, he's here. Hold on for a second. (to phone)Uh, i mean, please hold on for a second. Michael, it's for you.
Michael: (to phone)Hello? Yes, this is him. He. I'm sorry, we're a little short this month. Oh, really? Well, i'd be happy to. You can count on it. My pleasure.
(He put down the phone)
Ben: Who is…?
Michael: that was the Committee for Human Rights.
Ben: I hope you told them we already gave.
Michael: I did, but they didn't want money.
Ben: Then what do they want?
Michael: Me.
Sport club:
Ted: Hey, Em. Mind if I saddle up beside you. So how's it going? What? You have laryngitis? Get your wisdom teeth extracted? No, don't tell me. You've become a nun and you've taken an oath of silence.
Emmett: Yeah, i'm Sister Mary-Go-Fuck- Yourself. You know, i haven't seen or heard from you in days, except for an e-mail cancelling your birthday dinner.
Ted: Tad insisted on whisking me off to Mount Flame for Gay Ski Week, just the two of us. Isn't that adorable?
Emmett: Precious.
Ted: Got to keep my thighs in shape, and i don't mean just for the slopes.
(Emmett stops the machine)
Ted: Why did you do that?
Emmett: How long have you known Tad?
Ted: Three weeks.
Emmett: And you decided to cancel your plans to be with your friends on your birthday in order to be with him?
Ted: I need to do some Pec-deck. Those lycra ski suits are unforgiving.
Emmett: Teddy...
Ted: I don't want to talk about it. You're just feeling jealous because i've finally found the love of my life.
Emmett: No, i am not jealous. Nothing would make me happier than for you to find the love of your life. But to allow someone that you've known less than a month to isolate you…
Ted: he's not isolating me. I want to be with him and i resent you accusing him of…
Tad (is coming): hi, sweetheart. Hey, how's my baby?
Ted: Very good.
Tad: I just passed Sports Chalet. They're having a sale. We should check it out, for the trip. Oh, hi, Emmett!
Emmett: Hello, Tad.
Kinnetik:
Brian: "Your wife doesn't need to know neither does your girlfriend. " Our research indicates that the primary demo for your new erectile dysfunction medication is men between the ages of 45 and 75, with a couple of gents in their 100s expressing keen interest. And there was also another group not to be overlooked: "Your wife doesn't need to know and neither does your boyfriend.
Miss Dickson: " I find this crude, offensive and sophomoric. Like "American Pie" for seniors than an ad offering hope for millions suffering from a serious medical problem.
Man: I have to say, i agree with Miss Dickon.
Miss Dickson: I want to see a happily married couple with flecks of grey in their hair, embracing in front of a warm fire with copy that reads: "rekindle the flame”.
Not some dirty joke.
Remson: These are conservative times were living in, Brian. Sex no longer sells.
Mel and Linds House:
Justin: I keep picturing the famous photograph of immigrants arriving on Ellis Island. They give you a new name 'cause they can't pronounce the one you've got.
Lindsay: "Peterson"?
Justin: You move into a one-room apartment, start taking in laundry and speaking English with a Yiddish accent.
Melanie: Hey, honey, it's Toronto, not the Lower East Side. My cousin Jeannie said there's a house for rent down the street from her with a starbucks and a gap on the corner.
Linds: Our future's secured. Yours too.
Justin: Oh, it'll be strange not coming over, seeing you and Gus and Jenny.
Linds: I know.
Mel: You'll just have to come visit us.
Linds: You'll always have a place to stay.
Mel: If you ever decide to pack your bags and leave…
Linds: Mel !
Mel: It was a joke. I know you and Brian will be happy. We all will be.
Beth’s:
Beth: The polls are showing since the bombing, support for "stop prop 14" is up 28%. The committee for human rights wants to take full advantage of this sudden groundswell of sympathy and turn into a victory. We want to show the general population that the gay community is not just the transvestites and leather daddies they see at the Gay Pride Parade. But for the most part, it's people like you, like them, with a partner, a home, a family, who were victims of this unspeakable act of violence.
Michael: But what do i have to do with it?
Beth: We want to introduce you at the press conference, have you say a few words.
Michael: I’m not much of a public speaker. I wouldn't know to what to say.
Beth: Not to worry. We have some excellent speech writers who'll be your voice. Just give us your body.
[all laugh]
Michael: Well, i haven't had a proposition that tempting in a long time.
Beth: So you'll do it?
Michael: I'm all yours.
Loft:
Justin: What are those?
Brian: My revised ads for Remson's instant wood. What do you think?
Justin: At that age, i thought if they're on the floor, it meant they've fallen and they can't get up.
Brian: Which do you prefer?
Justin: None.
Brian: Just because you wouldn't watch Geriatrics Gone wild doesn't mean they can't do it.
Justin: I didn’t mean that. It’s not edgy. It's not funny, it's not sexy.
Brian: Haven't you heard? Sex is out.
Justin: Who told you that? Now put on your sluttiest club clothes and bring plenty of drugs 'cause we're going out.
Brian: I was thinking we'd spend a nice, quiet evening at home.
Woody’s
Brian: What the fuck's this?
Michael: It's the end of your life as you know it.
Ben: Your farewell appearance. Kinney's last stand.
Emmett: Welcome to that quaint, heterosexual male tradition known as "the stag party", with a slightly gay twist.
Ben: Let's get this poor sucker a drink.
Ted (to Tad): Come join us.
Tad: No. You hurry back.
Ted: All right. (to the barman) Hey, Ringo.
Ringo: Tedster! What'll it be? The usual?
Ted: Uh, make it one for my baby and one for yours truly.
Ringo: I see you hooked a hottie.
Ted: Yeah, he's a keeper. This time, it's for real.
Ringo: On the house.
Ted: Ah, aren't you generous with the boss' money.
Ringo: Anything for you.
Ted: Thanks, Ringo. You're the best.
Emmett: Hey, Teddy.
Ted: Em.
Emmett: I just want to Say i'm sorry for what i said about Tad. If you love him, i'm sure he must be a wonderful person because you're a wonderful person. And if you want to know the truth, i am jealous. But not because, uh, you have him. Because he has you.
Ted: You still have me. (to Tad) Cranberry and soda pour toi, and cranberry and soda pour moi.
Tad: You can shove them both up your ass.
Ted: Tad. Tad, would you stop? What's wrong? What happened?
Tad: How could you do that? Right in front of me, like i was invisible.
Ted: Do what?
Tad: You know perfectly well.
Ted: I really don't.
Tad: You want a list? How about coming on to that bartender?
Ted : Ringo? I wasn't coming on to him. I was telling him about you. And he was congratulating me, he gave us free drinks.
Tad: And what about Emmett? I thought you told me that was over.
Ted: It is over. Emmett is a friend. That's all.
Tad: Oh, really? Well, it looked like a lot more than that to me.
Ted: Well, whatever you think it looked like, i was socializing.
Tad: Nothing more. You can call it whatever you want. I call it being a slut!
Ted: Excuse me?
Tad: You heard what I said. Well, I'm not going to put up with that, okay? I should never have gotten involved with you in the first place. Go back to your friends? I never want to see you again. Fuck you!
Michael: Can i have your attention, please? I would like to offer a toast in memory of Brian Kinney. Outgoing, friendly, some say to a fault, he never met a man he didn't like.
Ben: In his younger days, Brian dreamed of being a lawyer. He said, "I want to get innocent men off I'll go to any length to get to the bottom of things.
Emmett: " Later on in life, he devoted himself to volunteer work.
Man: Yes.
Emmett: It's true. If he heard that someone was laid up, or flat on his back, he'd come time and time again until they felt better.
Michael: So, now that he's gone, I'm sure that there's not a man in this room who wouldn't agree that he has left a hole that can never be filled. Here's to Brian.
All: To Brian!
Man 1: Ah-ah, Go for it, Brian.
Man 2: Oh, i just want to smack it.
Man 3:No tan lines.
Brian: Okay. Wait, wait, wait. The prisoner respectfully chooses not to partake of his last meal . But to be led instead to the gallows a hungry but happy man.
Justin: Go on. Have a little fun.
Emmett: It ain't so little.
Justin: No, seriously. You have my permission.
Brian: Hey, I'm content to take my winnings and go home. You go for it, Emmylou.
Emmett: No… Okay.
Man : Come on, tiger.
Melanie and Lindsay’s house:
Brian: Now remember, when the bull-dyke minister says, [ In, raspy voice]” May i have the rings, please?" [in normal voice]That's when you bring the rings to daddy, okay?
Gus: Okay.
Brian: Now, let's practice. You go stand over there. Ready?
Gus: Yes.
Brian: [in raspy voice] “May i have the rings, please? “ [ in normal voice]ha ha! Good boy. You get a kiss for that.
Melanie: Better late than never. You finally grew a heart.
Brian: Well, maybe you'll have the same luck growing a penis.
Lindsay: Okay, big guy, time for your nap.
Gus: No, we didn't play yet.
Lindsay: You'll see Daddy later. Uh-uh, buddy-boy.
Mel: I want you to know that despite our past grievances…
Brian: oh, Christ, can't you dykes just leave the country forever without making a big deal out of it?
Mel: We'll try our best. But before we do, i want to wish you and Justin all the happiness on earth. I mean that.
Brian: And i want you to know that i'm glad you're going to be here for the wedding. I mean that, too.
Mel: Why, thank you, Brian .
Brian: it would've really fucked up Justin's seating arrangement.
Mel: It's Justin's gift to us. Going-away present. I feel like Gertrude Stein.
Brian: You're not that heavy; yet.
Mel: No, i mean it's like having a Picasso before he becomes Picasso.
Brian: He really is good, isn't he?
Mel: Better than good. That's why you better be good to him. Considering what he's sacrificing to be with you.
Dîner:
Debbie: My son Michael's press conference hamburger medium, fruit instead of fries Tuesday at 2:30 chicken Caesar. Don't forget. Dressing's on the side, honey. (to Hunter)What you studying?
Hunter: The Tudor monarchs.
Debbie: I fucking loved English history. Go ahead, ask me a question.
Hunter: The wives of Henry the eighth. In order.
Debbie: Easy. Catherine of Aragon, Anne Boleyn, Jane Seymour, Anne of Cleves, Kathryn Howard; who in the hell was the last one? Katherine Parr!
Hunter: Oh, wicked.
Debbie: Honey, if there's one thing i know about, it's queens.
Cook: Deb, your order's up.
Debbie: And if i hear one more fucking ding, his head's gonna roll faster than Anne Boleyn's. Don't forget Michael's press conference, Tuesday, 2:30.
Kiki: That's when i've got my tranny support group.
Debbie: So bring them along.
Ted: Then he accused me of coming on to practically every guy at the stag party, including you. Am i repeating myself?... I'm repeating myself, just like my Uncle Louie. He'd tell the same goddamn story over and over again, like the time he peed next to Bob Hope.
Emmett: Well, Aunt Lulah always said, "a good story is worth retelling. "so you go right ahead.
Ted: He became this entirely different person. A person I didn't even know. He was so loving, and sweet, and then he turned into this angry, suspicious punitive…
Emmett: Punitive? paranoiac? Yeah, it's a classic case of Borderline Personality Disorder.
Ted: How could i have not seen it coming?
Emmett: Because you didn't want to. You wanted to be in love. Who doesn't? So stop beating yourself up. Just be glad it's over.
That you found out before he locked you in your room. Tied you to your bed and fed you your dead parakeet.
Ted: Yeah, I suppose.
Emmett: The right guy will come along, Teddy. You'll see. Shake?
Restaurant
Waitress: Right this way, gentlemen.
Michael: I was planning on wearing this suit to the wedding but with a different tie. What do you think?
Brian: What, are you trying to upstage me?
Michael: I just want to look my best.
Brian: Doesn't matter to me if you're naked as long as you're there to give me away.
Michael: Oh, well, in that case, maybe i should wear my black leather pants.
Brian: You mean the ones you wore…
Michael: … the first night we went to Babylon.
Brian: They were so tight, you could barely move.
Michael: I know, my balls were killing me. And that shirt you were wearing.
Brian: What was wrong?
Michael: No self-respecting pimp would be caught dead in that.
Brian: I thought i looked pretty hot.
Michael: You did look pretty hot. That night, l jerked off thinking about you.
Brian: Well, what do you know? I jerked off thinking about me too.
Michael: Who'd have thought that one day Babylon would be gone and we'd be sitting here in suits?
Brian: Talking about our wild and recklessly dressed youth.
Michael: Pathetic, huh?
Brian: Inevitable.
Waiter: Gentlemen?
Brian: Merlot.
Michael: Uh, pepsi. Make that a glass of white wine.
Press conference:
Beth Edelstein: Almost ready. How are you doing?
Hunter: He's scared shitless.
Michael: I'm fine, thank you.
Beth: Just stick to your speech and i'm sure you'll do splendidly.
Debbie: Um, excuse me. Excuse me, honey. Sorry, sweetheart, i think these are our seats. My-my son's speaking. Thank you. My son's speaking.
Beth: Who are they?
Assistant Albert: His mother and her friends.
Beth (to assistant): They can't sit there. Move them to the back out of camera range.
Albert (to Debbie): So, if you don't mind moving down there's a little more room in the back. Thanks.
Michael: Is something the matter?
Beth: Oh, just a little misunderstanding. Those seats were already reserved.
Ben: For who?
Beth: For couples with children like yourselves. I apologize for the mix-up. [Public]Good afternoon and welcome. I’m congress woman Beth Edelstein The Committee for Human Rights has called today's press conference in response to the unconscionable act of violence that took the lives of seven and critically injured dozens of others at a recent benefit to stop proposition 14. We express our sympathies to the families who lost their loved ones, and vow to continue fighting for equal rights for all Americans, straight and gay. Now, I'd like you to meet one of the survivors of that senseless tragedy, Michael Novotny.
Michael: Thank you, congresswoman. "Thank you, congresswoman. " Oh l-i already said that part.
It’s an honor to stay here today, considering afew weeks ago the doctors weren't sure i was going to make it. But i was one of the lucky ones. I'm here. And as terrifying as that evening was, i would be there again to defeat a bill that would deny rights to Americans just because they're gay. I have a loving partner and two wonderful kids, a home, a small business. The truth is,” I'm just like you.”… Actually, that's not the truth. Sure, in a lot of ways I’m just like you. I wanna be happy. I want some security, a little extra money in my pocket. But in many ways, my life is nothing like yours. Why should it be? Do we have to have same lives to have the same rights? I mean , I thought that diversity was what this country was all about;
In the gay community, we have drag queens and leather daddies and trannies and couples with children; every colour of the rainbow. My mother, who's standing way in the back with some friends, my friends, once told me that people are like snowflakes. Every one special and unique, and in the morning you have to shovel them off the driveway. But being different is what makes us all the same. It's what makes us family.
Man: Yeah.
[crowd cheering]
Ted’s place
[knocking on the door]
Tad: Guess what? I called the lodge at mount flame and got us an upgrade. One of their deluxe suites on the club floor: Fireplace, terrace, with a jacuzzi.
Ted: What are you doing here?
Tad: What do you mean?
Ted: I mean after that little character assassination you performed on me, I thought I'd never see you again.
Tad: Oh, let's just forget about that.
Ted: I don't want to forget about that.
Tad: I told you i had a few flaws, didn't I?
Ted: That's more than a flaw, that's a serious malfunction.
Tad: Well, I just sometimes I just get a little jealous, that's all.
Ted: That's all?
Tad: Yeah, but it's only because i love you. And you love me. You know you do.
Ted: I loved the person i thought i knew. Tad: I'm still the same person.
Ted: Well, i'm not. Now, I want you to go.
Tad: I'm not going anywhere.
Ted: Look, I'm asking you to leave.
Tad: Ted, you'll get over this.
Ted: I already have. So, if you don't mind, I've had a really long day.
Tad: No, I'm not going anywhere. You can't get rid of me.
Ted: Look, don't make me force you.
Tad: You let go.
Ted: Then leave. Now!
Tad: I can't believe you're doing this. I trusted you, I loved you. I thought you were a good person. T
ed: I am a good person.
Tad: No, you're shit! Who the fuck do you think you are, treating me like this? No! No! I said i want you out.
Ted: I said I want you out.
Tad: Ted!
Ted: Get the fuck out!
Tad: Ted! Ted! Open the door.
Ted? T ted? Ted, please, open the door.
Loft:
Justin: I had a dream last night that we were in our new house.
Brian: Cooking? Gardening? Sitting in front of the fire?
Justin: Not exactly. You were riding me in the stable, diving into in the pool, slamming me on the tennis court.
Brian: Well, that gives a new meaning to us. Open.
Justin: I better start practicing my serve.
Brian: Wouldn't you rather just cuddle?
Justin: What?
Brian: I said wouldn't you rather just lie here and …
Justin: no. No, no, I heard what you said. You said "cuddle".
Brian: So?
Justin: So, i have never, ever once heard you even use that word, much less actually want to do it. Brian: Okay, so can we just turn just the lights out?
Justin: No! No. Brian Kinney fucks, sucks, rims, rams but never cuddles.
Brian: Okay, so i used a word that offends your sensibilities. Oh forgive me. I apologize. I'll never do it again.
Justin: No. It's more than just that. Every day we get closer to being married, the person i know gets further away.
Brian: I'm right here.
Justin: But it's not you. Looks like you, feels like you, but you… you would never huh go to your own stag party and not fuck every hot guy in sight. You would never be more interested in gardening than getting laid.
Brian: I'm just trying to make you happy.
Justin: I want you to do what makes you happy, not me.
Brian: What about you? Yes, you. Not going to New York?
Justin: Fuck New York.
Brian: Conquering the art world.
Justin: Fuck the art world.
Brian: Why? Because you're afraid?
Justin: I'm not afraid.
Brian: Then what?
Justin: I don't want it.
Brian: Bullshit.
Justin: I don't. It means nothing.
Brian: Would it still mean nothing if i wasn't here?
Justin: How do you expect me to give you a rational response when the circumstances you've presented are completely suppositional and, as such, have no basis in reality?
Brian: Just answer the goddamn question.
Justin: Aw, I don't know.
Brian: Well, I do. I don't want to live with someone who sacrificed their life and called it love to be with me.
Justin: Neither do I.
Diner:
Debbie: Ta-da!
Michael: What's that?
Debbie: It's a quadruple bypass sundae. Four kinds of ice cream, what's that? It's a quadruple bypass sundae. Four kinds of ice cream, four kinds of toppings, four kinds of sauce.
Michael: You want to give me a heart attack?
Debbie: It's the only thing i could think of that was sweeter than you.
Michael: Well, I guess it beats getting wopped upside the head. What the hell was that for?
Debbie: That's to remind you what'll happen to you if you ever stop being the most loving son a mother has ever had. Wouldn't you agree, Ben?
Ben: Oh, I'd be scared not to.
Michael (to Hunter): Hey, kid. Can you bring us some water?
Hunter: Did you ever hear of "please"?
Ben: Sit down. Hunter: Well, what did I do now?
Ben: We got your report card.
Hunter: Oh, shit.
Michael: You passed every subject with "BS" and "CS".
Hunter: No shit.
Ben: That's awesome, dude. That means you get to graduate with your class.
Hunter: Next step, MIT. That's the Monogahela Institute of Typing. What's this?
Michael: It's a journal, to write stuff in.
Hunter: H.N.B.?
Ben: They're your initials, if you'd like them to be.
Michael: Hunter Novotny-Bruckner.
Ben: Instead of being our foster son, we'd like you to be our real son. That is, if you'd like us to be your fathers.
Hunter: You mean, you want to adopt me?
Michael: As soon as possible, in case prop 14 passes.
Ben: So what do you say?
Hunter: (he writes)"Today, Michael and Ben asked me to be their son, i said 'yes.
Reception room:
Ted: It's a rehearsal dinner but what's to rehearse? They say, "I do," then they do it.
Ben: But what do you get the man who's had everyone?
Lindsay: A water buffalo
Debbie: Why the hell would Brian want to fuck that?
Lindsay: It's to help Cambodian farmers plough their fields and provide milk for their children.
Jennifer: Well, that is so much more imaginative than another boring old sterling silver place setting from Tiffany's.
Daphné: Justin’s already got everything he’s ever wanted.
Carl: I know how he feels.
[Brian and Justin are coming in.]
All: Hey
[all cheering]
Justin: We would like to thank you all for coming to our rehearsal dinner.
Brian: However, it's nothing to rehearse. The wedding's off.
[All laughing]
Justin: No, it's true. We decided not to get married.
Debbie: How the fuck do you return a water buffalo?
Kinnetik
Brian: Based on our previous discussion, i came up with a campaign that's more in line with your vision. Cynthia?
Remson: Now we're cooking. Nice work, Brian. Woman: It's exactly what i had in mind. Intimate, warm, romantic.
Brian: All the feelings a woman associates with love-making. Right, Cynthia?
Cynthia: Uh, some women.
Brian: But there's only one problem. Women aren't going to be buying a little pill to make their dicks hard. Men are. Straight, gay, democrat, republican, doesn't matter. They're all paying 10 bucks a pop for the same reason. And trust me, ms. Dickson, it's not to rekindle the flame. They want to fuck. They want to shoot their loads as often as they can, as hard as they can, all night long if tcan. Not cuddle in front of the fire with some nice lady who looks like their mother.
Miss Dickson: Despite your personal feelings, we want the ad.
Brian: You can't have it. Because, despite these conservative times, it's still all about sex. So i suggest that you take your business elsewhere.
Lindsay and Melanie’s house:
Linds: I made us a little something.
Mel: Thanks. I am famished. I tagged all the pieces we're going to put in storage, the ones we're selling and the ones we're giving away.
Linds: I don't suppose there's any point in keeping this old table.
Mel: Christ, you're such a shiksa. Why don't you just say it? You want the table.
Linds: I don't. I just thought it's a shame to… All right. I want the table.
Mel: Good. We'll keep it.
Linds: I keep telling myself it's just a house. A bunch of not very grand or even spacious rooms, but everywhere i look, i see us. Like over there, at Gus'bris.
[in flash back] Brian: you two, in the kitchen, now!
[return]
Mel: You mean, his almost bris. Or the front gate where i proposed to you. Or the time i was sitting there and you told me “ i'll stay until after the baby's born.”
Linds: What?
Mel: Nothing. Just a bad memory.
Linds: They're part of us too. Without them how do we appreciate the good ones?
Mel: What do you say we make one more memory?
Ski club:
Emmett: The glories of nature. The "beautiful for spacious skies", the "purple mountain's majesty".
Ted: Don't forget the "fruited plains".
Emmett: Aren't you glad you came?
Ted: Thrilled. Would have lost the room deposit if we hadn't.
Emmett: Well, honey, i know it's not exactly the romantic getaway you'd hoped for, but, um i promise you, you're going to have a fabulous birthday anyway.
Ted: God. Oh, god. Talk about your fire hazard. That thing's more flaming than you.
Emmett: It's 40 candles. One for every year, plus one to grow on.
Ted: Oh, do you have to remind me?
Emmett: Well, it's quite an achievement to get to be your age. You know what I mean; well, now, hurry up and make a wish before the place burns down. Huh.
Ted: You know every year, i always wish for the same thing: A boyfriend. Someone to love, who'll love me. This year i think i'm going to wish for something else. The wisdom and the maturity to realize that i won't find what i want by looking for it. Not expect someone else to give me what i never gave myself. That i'm not a half waiting to be made a whole. And even if that special person never comes along, i'll be just fine.
Blake: Ted?
Ted: Blake?
Blake: I thought it was you.
Ted: Oh what are you doing here?
Blake: I'm on the Gay Ski Team now. And it's Gay Ski Week.
Ted: Right. You remember …
Blake: …Emmett?
Emmett: Yeah, wow. Uh, what a surprise. And Teddy was just about to hang up his skis.
Blake: You ski?
Ted: I'm lucky if i can walk. No, we' re here for my birthday.
Emmett: Strictly as friends.
Blake: Happy birthday.
Ted: Thanks. And you, you’re alone?
Blake: No
Ted: Oh.
Blake: I'm with, uh, 11 other men.
Ted: well, you know, i always preferred the one-on-one sports.
I just find the action more…
Blake: …intense?
Ted: Fullfilling
Blake: Well, i'll catch you later.
Emmett: no, hey. Hey why not now? Seriously, go on. That way, I can have all this yummy cake to myself.
Ted: thanks, Em.
Man: Pardon me, but aren't you Emmett Honeycutt of the Hazelhurst, Mississippi Honeycutts?
Emmett: Why, yes i am. And, you are? Ah oh my god. You're Calvin Culpeper and… Ah oh my god.
You were on the boys' swim team in high school. I used to go to those meets just hoping your trunks would slip off. But I always tought you were…
Calvin: So did I
Emmett: so, what do you say we go back to my room and, uh reminisce old times?
Calvin: There's not that much to reminisce about.
Emmett: I know.
In the street:
Michael: (to JR)I love you, honey bun.
Debbie: I hope everybody peed. Whenever i used to take Michael anywhere, no sooner we'd leave the house than he'd say, "Ma, i gotta tinkle”. And i'd say, "why You couldn't have done it before you left the house?
Michael: Do you mind if we not relive the golden days of yesteryear?
Brian: So to speak.
Michael: Did you put air on the tires?
Mel: I took it on the gas station. He cheked the tires, the water, the oil, the brakes.
Brian: never send a fag to do a dyke's work.
Ben: And remember to call when you arrive.
Linds: How can we forget when Michael will be calling us every five minutes to remind us?
Mel: Well, i guess it's time we…
Debbie: hold it. I don't care where you're going and i don't care what you're doing, but you better get your asses back here every Thanksgiving, Christmas, 4th of July, Hanukkah , Mother's day. Because you know how i feel about family.
Mel: Well, we wouldn't be one without you, Deb.
Debbie: Take good care of my granddaughter.
Ben: Drive safe, okay?
Mel: Okay.
Debbie: I love you.
Mel: Ready to roll.
Debbie: Don't you think i'm not coming utherp for my granddaughter's birthday, so you’d better make room.
Linds: You'll be all right?
Brian: Without you crazy lesbians?
Linds: I meant Justin.
Brian: He's a selfish prick, thinks only of himself.
Linds: You taught him well. I know. I'm sorry. No apologies.
Brian: No regrets.
Mel: Are we leaving sometime today?
Brian (to Gus):Goodbye, son.
Debbie: Bye-bye, sweetheart. Drive carefully. Call us when you get there. We miss you already. Bye.
Ben: Have fun.
Debbie: See you soon. We love you. Bye-bye.
Michael: Bye.
Loft:
Brian: When's your flight?
Justin: Ten.
I think i've finally found a place to stay. Daphne has a friend in the east village. Finding a work space is going to be difficult. Apparently, everything costs a fortune.
Brian: You'll manage.You always do.
Justin: I'll be back. And you'll come there. We're going to see each other all the time.
Brian: You don't know that. Neither do i. Whether we see each other next weekend or next month …or never again.
It doesn't matter, it's only time.
[Justin looks at the rings]
Justin: You didn't return them?
Brian: I didn't return them.
Justin: We don't need rings or vows to prove that we love each other. We already know that.
Brian: You did it.
Justin: Did what?
Brian: Became the best homosexual you could possibly be.
[They Kiss and make love]
Later…
Michael: Thought you might like some company.
Brian: Why are you out so late?
Michael: It's barely midnight. The good old days, we'd just be heading off to Babylon.
Brian: Babylon' gone. So are the good old days.
Michael: Not yet.
Babylon:
Michael: Christ.
Brian: What did you expect? Dancing boys? Glitter falling from on high?
Michael: This is where we came the night of our senior prom when we dumped our dates.
Brian: Hmm, the ghastly Judy Zumholtz.
Michael: And the equally dreadful Carol Kolodny. We snuck in.We got stoned.
Brian: Danced with our shirts off.
Michael: You got blown in the back room. This is where it all began.
Brian: And ended.
Michael: But it's who we are. It's what made us.
Brian: Didn't you say that that's all a cheap illusion, and that outside, life goes on but in here, nothing ever changes?
Michael: I did say that. Yes. But that was before I understood . Some things aren't meant to change. Dance with me. Why not?
Brian: Well, for one thing, there's no music.
Michael: Of course there is. Can't you hear it? The old "thumpa-thumpa"?
Brian: Oh, watch it, asshole. You want to bust your stitches?
Michael: I'm fine. Come on. Come on! Shake that groove thing.
Brian: You shake it, mickey. I am too…
Michael: what? old? You'll always be young. You'll always be beautiful. You're Brian Kinney, for fuck's sake.
Brian: So what are they playing?
Michael: Our song.
[ Heather Small’s “Proud” playing over speakers]
Michael [Voice off]: So the thumpa thumpa continues. It always will, no matter what happens, no matter who's president. As our lady of disco, the divine miss Gloria Gaynor, has always sung to us: "We will survive.”
END
